Dating and Friendship guide
So its spring time and that means that love is in the air, and that many of you are looking to find a life long relationship or maybe just develop new friends. Here is a great guide to help you make decisions that will effect the rest of your life!
I. Introduction: some of the most important decisions that we make are who we have as our friends and companions and whom we choose to date and eventually marry. The bible gives clear guidelines on this subject.
II. Why God cares,
God understands the important role that associates play in forming us. His commands are not to restrict us but to free us to choose good companions and to protect us from the influences that could harm us.
III. Friend selection.
When I use the word friends, I don't mean those people whom we come into contact with due to forces beyond our control such as school mates and fellow employees I am referring to companions, those people to whom we choose to spend our time. They are the ones who will play a major role in forming our morals, attitudes, and goals.
To avoid all sinners we would have to leave the world. The bible is clear: When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. 10 But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. 11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. I Cor 5:9).
IV. Dating.
Dating is a procedure that our society uses for selecting a marriage partner and should never be taken lightly. We should never date anyone whom we do not feel would be a suitable mate because emotional bonds do develop.
The criteria for the selection of a date includes the two requirement for selecting a companion; they must be a Christian and have a growing relationship with the Lord. In addition to these basic requirements for selecting a date;
A. General questions should be asked;
1. Do they listen and communicate well? Are they able to share their hurts, desires, feelings, and opinions?
Eph 4:15, 25)
2. Do they have good relationships with friends and family? Eph 6:2,5:21.
3. Do they control their emotions or are they given to anger, jealousy, envy? Do feelings rule their lives? Gal 5:19-21
4. Are they forgiving of others and can they accept you and others as you are? Rom 14:4.
5. Are they good stewards of their time, money and possessions? Tit 1:7, Eph 5:15-7.
6. Do they have a good reputation? Eph 5:3, I Tim 3:7.
7. Do they care for their body? I Cor 3:16-6.
8. Will they be a good role model for your children? I Cor 11:1.
B. As a man selects a date or a mate, additional questions that he should consider are;
1. Does she dress modestly and care for her appearance? I Pet 3:3.
2. Does she relate well with children and know how to care for them? (prov 31:10-31)
3. Is she submissive to authority- her father, employer, teachers, etc., or does she rebel, gossip, and degrade them? Rom 13:1, Eph 5:22
4. Does she have a gentle and quiet spirit? I Pet 3:4.
C. Some additional questions that a woman should ask about a prospective date.
1. Is he someone I can respect? Eph 5:22, 33
2. Does he have the ability to be an adequate provider? I Tim 5:8.
3. Does he consider my feelings and desires in his decision making? I Pet 3:7.
4. Is he in submission to authority? Rom 13:1?
5. Does he have control over his lust? Gal 5:19-22
6. Does he respect me? I Pet 3:7.
7. Does he relate well with children and know how to care for them? Eph 6:4.
So its spring time and that means that love is in the air, and that many of you are looking to find a life long relationship or maybe just develop new friends. Here is a great guide to help you make decisions that will effect the rest of your life!
I. Introduction: some of the most important decisions that we make are who we have as our friends and companions and whom we choose to date and eventually marry. The bible gives clear guidelines on this subject.
- Ps 1:1 How blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked, nor stand in the path of sinners!
- 1Cor 15:33 Do not be deceived: "bad company corrupts good morals."
- 1Cor 5:11 I wrote to you not to associate with any so-called brother if he should be an immoral person, or covetous, or an idolater, or a reviler, or a drunkard, or a swindler-- not even to eat with such a one.
- 2 Cor 6:14-7Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? -what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as god said, "I will dwell in them and walk among them; and I will be their God, and they shall be my people. Therefore, come out from their midst and be separate," says the Lord. "and do not touch what is unclean; and I will welcome you.
- Prov 1:10 & 15 My son, if sinners entice you, do not consent. - do not walk in the way with them. Keep your feet from their path,
- Prov 4:14 do not enter the path of the wicked, and do not proceed in the way of evil men.
- Prov 13:20 he who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will suffer harm.
- Prov 22:24-5 Do not associate with a man given to anger; or go with a hot-tempered man, lest you learn his ways, and find a snare for yourself.
- Rom 16:17-8 Keep your eye on those who cause dissensions and hindrances contrary to the teaching which you learned, and turn away from them. For such men are slaves, not of our lord Christ but of their own appetites; and by their smooth and flattering speech they deceive the hearts of the unsuspecting.
- 2 Thes 3:6 we command you, brethren, in the name of our lord Jesus Christ, that you keep aloof from every brother who leads an unruly life and not according to the tradition which you received from us.
- 2 Thes 3:14 and if anyone does not obey our instruction in this letter, take special note of that man and do not associate with him, so that he may be put to shame. And yet do not regard him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother.
- Tit 3:10 reject a factious man after a first and second warning, knowing that such a man is perverted and is sinning, being self-condemned.
- 2 Jn 1:10-1 if anyone comes to you and does not bring this teaching, do not receive him into your house, and do not give him a greeting; for the one who gives him a greeting participates in his evil deeds.
II. Why God cares,
God understands the important role that associates play in forming us. His commands are not to restrict us but to free us to choose good companions and to protect us from the influences that could harm us.
III. Friend selection.
When I use the word friends, I don't mean those people whom we come into contact with due to forces beyond our control such as school mates and fellow employees I am referring to companions, those people to whom we choose to spend our time. They are the ones who will play a major role in forming our morals, attitudes, and goals.
To avoid all sinners we would have to leave the world. The bible is clear: When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin. 10 But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that. 11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people. I Cor 5:9).
IV. Dating.
Dating is a procedure that our society uses for selecting a marriage partner and should never be taken lightly. We should never date anyone whom we do not feel would be a suitable mate because emotional bonds do develop.
The criteria for the selection of a date includes the two requirement for selecting a companion; they must be a Christian and have a growing relationship with the Lord. In addition to these basic requirements for selecting a date;
A. General questions should be asked;
1. Do they listen and communicate well? Are they able to share their hurts, desires, feelings, and opinions?
Eph 4:15, 25)
2. Do they have good relationships with friends and family? Eph 6:2,5:21.
3. Do they control their emotions or are they given to anger, jealousy, envy? Do feelings rule their lives? Gal 5:19-21
4. Are they forgiving of others and can they accept you and others as you are? Rom 14:4.
5. Are they good stewards of their time, money and possessions? Tit 1:7, Eph 5:15-7.
6. Do they have a good reputation? Eph 5:3, I Tim 3:7.
7. Do they care for their body? I Cor 3:16-6.
8. Will they be a good role model for your children? I Cor 11:1.
B. As a man selects a date or a mate, additional questions that he should consider are;
1. Does she dress modestly and care for her appearance? I Pet 3:3.
2. Does she relate well with children and know how to care for them? (prov 31:10-31)
3. Is she submissive to authority- her father, employer, teachers, etc., or does she rebel, gossip, and degrade them? Rom 13:1, Eph 5:22
4. Does she have a gentle and quiet spirit? I Pet 3:4.
C. Some additional questions that a woman should ask about a prospective date.
1. Is he someone I can respect? Eph 5:22, 33
2. Does he have the ability to be an adequate provider? I Tim 5:8.
3. Does he consider my feelings and desires in his decision making? I Pet 3:7.
4. Is he in submission to authority? Rom 13:1?
5. Does he have control over his lust? Gal 5:19-22
6. Does he respect me? I Pet 3:7.
7. Does he relate well with children and know how to care for them? Eph 6:4.
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